Why don't you give it back to me?
I'll try to see it for its possibilities,
Try, but never succeed.
All those times and all those years,
Oh, I will never forget.
Despite what you say, "bad memories will pass",
But you can't make a lifetime fade away.
Go ahead and blame me for the mess that I am,
Maybe I could've been a shining statue of purpose.
But you broke me into pieces through the abuse,
Verbally and mentally, but I don't hate you.
I'm too busy building windows,
Out of a pain-stained glass.
I'm too busy making something,
Out of the life you stole from me.
Out of the life you gave to me.
Why'd you even bring me into this place?
It's funny how you feel about me.
I'm not worth the money you have to spend on me.
I knew my life was worth less to you than blood stains on your carpet,
Then the sleep you'd have to lose.
See, I've made my life a pathetic attempt at living,
Since you've made my life worth dying.
How much did I hold inside until you knew?
That I am never happy. (You ungrateful child.)
Finally the night does come,
When you haven't had enough to drink.
And you say, my broken hero,
The disillusionment of this sad child's eyes,
You say, "Oh, I'm glad you've stayed up."
'Well why is that?'
"Haven't you been disappointed enough?"
Well, why is that..?
If ever you come to your senses,
You might ask, "What did I do?"
Please simply forget to mention,
Because I don't want to talk about it with you.
I don't want to sit there and make you feel better,
Tell you my life's not all a waste (I've still got my grades).
Don't tell me of your guilt because I would,
I don't want to make your life easier, but I would.
"Child, get to sleep."
Oh you selfish man, can't you see?
There is not sleep for me;
I find no rest in a tear-soaked bed.
You can't wash the suffering out of the sheets of my soul.
Well, maybe you could,
But you wouldn't waste your time.
What would it change for you? Nothing.
It wouldn't put a heart behind those torturous commands.
Couldn't kill the sarcasm in that voice full of hate.
Will you regret not loving me,
Or ever loving me at all?
You could only hurt me so much,
Before you handed me the knife.
The deepest scars I carved myself,
I'll be held responsible all my life.
I admire your strength, your power.
The virtues you've instilled in me took dedication.
A constant breaking of my will to live,
Of my will to be anything, really.
Other than respectful to you.
You'll give me an unintended smile,
At an empty threat of how miserable my life could be.
I know too well salutary neglect,
Would be better than the care you have given me.
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